Scars Don't Heal
by The-Swift-Raven
Summary: It's always been Shizuo's dream to kill the flea, hasn't it? shizaya, yaoi, M for second and later chapters. be nice kids.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: i own nothing but the devious cupcakes in the second chapter.**

( ! . ! ;) scared to post this? **deffinately**am i gonna do it? **of course!**

don't eat me.

Shizuo stared at his crimson stained hands.

'Fuck…..'

His mind whirled around what had just happened as he stared into the dulling crimson eyes of the informant.

'No…no way in hell….'

The blonde blinked away tears that threatened to fall and growled at himself.

He hated the flea.

'I loved him…'

Now he's gone. I'm happy.

'I never wanted him to leave…'

Izaya coughed and dark gore covered his lips and hand. Then the ravenette whispered something Shizuo almost missed "it's been fun, my lovely monster."

'Monster…'

Another deep breath and Izaya spoke again voice dwindling like a burnt out flame and eyes glistening with fresh tears "I always loved you…I almost thought….you might feel the same…guess I was wrong…" he turned his head away with whatever strength he had left to look away embarrassed to be confessing love to the monster that killed him. Shizuo was shocked to the core. To see the informant actually shed tears and admit love to the person that most likely just killed him was a surprise. "Izaya…" the blonde said softly trailing off. He could feel the warmth leaving the others body.

Shizuo steeled himself, 'you need to get a grip!' his mind screamed. He picked up Izaya's limp body and started carrying the informant to Shinra's. There were small protests here and there from the informant but not much seeing as his large blood loss left him lethargic. Some small talk was exchanged in the short time it took to reach Shinra's apartment, mainly to make sure Izaya was still conscious, but not a lot as the pair would be in an awkward state if anyone saw them. Shizuo thanked god that it was early in the morning and scarcely anyone was out. But Shinra and Celty were far from amused at being woken up so early.

"Shizuo? What are you-"Shinra cut himself off when he saw Izaya in the blondes arms and the state he was in. "bring him in." the brunette doctor sighed "set him in the back room." Shizuo deposited the body in his arm onto an examination table and turned to leave when he heard a small chuckle "so…I was right." The blond looked over his shoulder slightly "about what?" the raven smiled in a tired manner "you…feel the same…" Shizuo growled "shut up and let Shinra put you back together." And he left with those word refusing Shinra's and Celty's offers to stay and see if the ravenette was going to be okay. He just couldn't meet that crimson gaze again without guilt.

The months went on news of Izaya fully recovering was given and Shizuo felt the guilt bubble up inside him. He almost KILLED someone. That's not something small like killing a butterfly or a small bug, it was a HUMAN BEING. Something that didn't EXPECT death so early. Something that was so carful at avoiding it...the months passing with a growing absence of Izaya in Ikebukuro also weighed heavily on the bodyguards already high guilt. But the icing on the cake was just waiting to attack and make a certain blonde's day just a bit sweeter.

Returning home to an empty apartment day in day out after frustrating work could be lonely but Shizuo was used to it. He enjoyed the silence to unwind and maybe some T.V. but that could just as easily set him off again so usually the muffled silence of the city below greeted him when he got home and was the last thing to whisper goodnight. The surprise in general to find a sleeping informant on your couch when you come home is hard to feign so Shizuo didn't even try. "Izaya?" followed by the surprisingly soft, compared to the usual slams, of the door closing was enough to bring the raven out of his light sleep. Looking up with hazy crimson eyes, tousled hair, and the familiar flush of sleeping for long increments of time, Izaya offered a small sleepy-still smile "Welcome home, Shizuo."

its short i know but i have a web design class to ace and state testing going on. i do what i can.

review?


	2. Chapter 2 ignite

**so my moms birthday was today and i started a huge project for my room not to mention my genius was needed more then once today!**

**disclaimer: i didn't describe the cupcakes yet but wen i do they are the only thing that's mine and you will hate me.**

Shizuo stood completely still. Afraid to move, as if Izaya was just a shimmering fragment of insanity, maybe grief, most likely longing. The blond would never admit the feeling of longing to have the raven actually there. "What the hell are you doing here?" Shizuo winced at the harshness of his words. "I assumed you would be happy to see me. I'll leave if you would like." Izaya got up and adjusted his clothes, "I mean after what you admitted all that time ago."

Shizuo thought back to that night "I said nothing."

"You got angry when I said I was right that means I was right. Don't go into denial Shizuo."

Izaya sighed in a huffing manner sounding like a spoiled brat. "You never even called me."

"I don't have your number." Shizuo lied. Giving the blonde a quizzical look before stooping his head, Izaya began muttering to himself. "Shinra told me…and Celty…then why….? Solar flares…but that's no excuse-" he sighed and lifted his head a sad smile played across his face "I guess you don't then."

Turning quickly Izaya made his way into the kitchen and returned with a box. "These are for you. My sisters taught me how to make them, and since I don't really like anything sweet, I brought them for you…" he offered out the box "what happened to you?" Shizuo asked tilting his head "your acting completely different."

"Almost dying does that to people…" Izaya replied looking to the side. He shoved the box into Shizuo's hands and went around said brute to escape out the door.

'_Please don't let me cry in front of him again….'_

A hand caught his wrist and pulled him back. The first contact caused Izaya to flinch the same movement was used to almost end his life but as he noticed the action was innocent he relaxed. Shizuo wrapped his arms around the raven like a wolf clamping it jaws down on a piece of prey, never wanting to let it go. "I want you to stay here, with me Izaya."

Izaya hugged back his hands clinging to Shizuo's shirt as he spilled fresh tears. "I-I want to stay with you Shizuo." He sniffled and nuzzled into the blondes chest "d-do you promise I can stay with you? I-I mean _be_ with you?" he tilted his face up to look at Shizuo eyes still slightly filled with tears looking venerable and so much in pain Shizuo couldn't resist to wipe away the ravens tears and lean down to seal their lips together.

Red blossomed across Izaya's face and his eyes widened ever so slightly before closing and giving in to the softness of the kiss, an ever so silent promise made with hearts screaming of sorrow and love packed into a maelstrom of past pain and scars, some that seemed to continue burning as if never fully healed. Although lasting only a few seconds the effect that wrapped it's self around their hearts pulling them closer would last forever.

"Shizuo…" only a whisper but it echoed thought the room like a distant bomb "are you sure?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" the blond growled irritated "of course I'm sure." They sealed their lips together again but more licentious (1) and filled with a longing they didn't know they had. Bodies pressed so close together their clothes could simply be satin. Tongues danced and clashed together, indulging in the simple and raw taste of each other. Bite here, receive a whimper, and bite harder get a moan. Carefully and ever so gently testing the need of one another.

Shizuo pulled away and with his free hand, picked Izaya up by the waist "what are you doing Shizuo?"

"Putting this box in the kitchen then I'm taking you to my room."

"I can walk you brute!"

"So?"

"Put me down!"

"Alright." Shizuo threw Izaya down on the couch and set the box down on the coffee table. Before Izaya could open his mouth to protest Shizuo pinned the raven down with a hand over the others mouth. "I would be quiet if I were you, _Izaya_." Said informant bit down on Shizuo's hand. "I don't much like being told what to do! Especially by someone like you!" he yelled in vain as the hand had muffled out his protest. "What was that flea?" Shizuo asked with a crazed grin as he kissed up the informant's neck. Izaya bit down again harder and held on growling at being silenced. A chuckle escaped Shizuo's lips "that doesn't hurt flea so stop trying." The blond returned the favor by biting into Izaya's neck licking at the wound. Izaya's face flushed at the rough treatment and his breathing hitched as his hips jolted upwards. Shizuo grinned at the reaction he received and decided to bite the informant again, only this time lower.

Teeth dug into the skin in Izaya's collar bone and the raven's chest swelled as he moaned loudly under the hand and wrapped his legs around the blonde. Shizuo removed his hand and kissed the raven all lust and tongue and teeth. Izaya whimpered into the kiss and rocked his hips against Shizuo's, the friction causing them to become breathless. Shizuo growled with animalistic need and pinned the needy informant's hips down Izaya unhooked his legs from around Shizuo so the blonde could remove the pants blocking his ultimate goal.

Swiftly hooking the pants and boxers, Shizuo removed them and lean to kiss and nip at the others hip. "Shizuo~" Izaya whined biting his lip as Shizuo licked from the hip to thigh, thigh to groin and back again. "Stop teasing me jerk!" three fingers were placed in front of his mouth "use your mouth for something else then telling me what to do." Smirking Izaya wrapped his lips around the fingers suckling and rolling his tongue between them nipping every so often at the finger tips his face showing he was all too pleased with himself.

Shizuo removed his fingers and replaced it with his mouth as his fingers went down and teased Izaya's twitching hole before one plunged deep inside. Izaya arched off the couch and moaned breathlessly at the intrusion. Thrusting the finger Shizuo slowly stretched the other and added a second a few minutes later and the third stretching the raven until all three fingers fit freely. Izaya impatiently whined and squirmed when Shizuo removes his fingers and un-zipped his pants pushing them down to expose his erect member. The blonde positioned himself "ready?" he asked. Izaya nodded and Shizuo pushed himself inside the raven hissing to himself as the hot velvet walls hugged his swollen member.

Izaya bit his lip ad his lower back pulsed in pain. Shizuo was huge. As the pain subsided Izaya wrapped his legs around Shizuo and quietly mumbled "move." The blonde set a pace and kissed the raven softly. Sweat gleaned off their exposed skin and a chorus of panting made the air thick and heavy with warmth and moisture. Small embarrassed begs for more interrupted the panting and the heat increased as their climax neared. Izaya cried out as his prostate was hit head-on "ah! Sh-shizuo right there!" Shizuo grinned and rammed into the raven over and over loving the way his name was screamed and moaned turning him on all the more if possible. Reaching a hand down Shizuo began stroking Izaya's cock with his thrusts receiving elated moans as climax became closer. One last thrust into his prostate and Izaya came over Shizuo's hand and their stomachs Shizuo followed after losing himself as those hot walls clamped down on him.

Collapsing on the one below him Shizuo slid his softened member out of the raven panting with post-sex exhaustion. "i...love you Shizuo" Izaya whispered "i missed you when you left...and I almost thought you weren't real when I saw you on my couch-" Izaya kissed him cutting him off. "I'm here and I said I love you idiot." Shizuo sighed "i love you too you annoying ass flea."

"hah! You _said it~"_

"shut up."

"Shizu-chan _loves me~!"_

"I'm warning you...shut up and go to sleep."

"Whatever. At least your not in denial anymore."

Shizuo harshly kissed the raven biting his lower lip causing it to bleed. Izaya yelped pulling back covering his mouth "ow you stupid jerk! People will see these!"

"i warned you, Flea" Shizuo replied with a grin.

**its SO damn hard for me to write sex scenes and be okay with them. i might tweak this one over and over till i get it the way i want.**

wwhatevva~


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